Trust Issues

Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, but once broken, it can be incredibly difficult to rebuild. Trust issues often arise from past betrayals, insecurities, or miscommunications that leave one or both partners feeling vulnerable or suspicious. Noted relationship expert Dr. John Gottman emphasizes that “trust is built in very small moments, it’s a gradual process of accumulating positive, trust-building interactions over time.”

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When couples seek therapy for trust issues, the process often involves identifying the root cause. Was the trust broken by an incident of infidelity, or has one partner's past trauma made it difficult to trust anyone? Therapists such as Esther Perel, known for her work with couples, suggest that repairing trust starts with transparency. She explains, “Rebuilding trust is essentially the ability to become emotionally honest with each other again.” This means both partners must be open about their feelings, even if it’s uncomfortable.

A common approach in therapy is practicing radical honesty, where partners commit to being truthful, even about small things, to rebuild a sense of safety. If a trust breach occurred (such as infidelity), the partner who violated the trust must be willing to answer difficult questions and demonstrate a consistent effort to regain their partner’s confidence.

Another critical aspect is setting boundaries. Dr. Brene Brown, a renowned researcher on vulnerability and shame, highlights that “clear is kind.” Establishing clear boundaries around privacy, social media, or other triggers for distrust can help partners feel more secure. Couples often use therapy sessions to outline these boundaries and agree on consequences if they are crossed.

Ultimately, therapists guide couples through exercises that allow them to be vulnerable again. As Gottman explains, “Trust is about knowing that your partner is there for you, that they have your back.” Rebuilding trust is a slow process, but with mutual effort, many couples can recover and even strengthen their relationship.