Session 7: Morning - Let Go of Your Own Will

Good morning, my friend, and welcome to Day 3. During our first day together, we practiced living in the presence of God. Yesterday, we practiced listening. Today, we move into something deeper and perhaps more challenging: humility. Humility is one of the foundations of monastic life, but it is also one of the most misunderstood Christian virtues.

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When people hear the word humility, they sometimes imagine weakness, insecurity, or thinking badly about themselves. That is not Christian humility. Humility does not mean believing you are worthless. It means seeing yourself truthfully. You have gifts, but those gifts ultimately come from God. You have strengths, but you also have weaknesses. You need other people. You make mistakes. You do not know everything. You cannot control everything. And you are not the center of the universe. That last one can be difficult for all of us. Much of our frustration comes from wanting life, circumstances, and other people to conform to our will. We want things done our way. On our schedule. According to our expectations. And when they are not, we become irritated, anxious, angry, or disappointed. The monk slowly learns another way. He learns to surrender. Today we are going to begin practicing that surrender. Find a quiet place. Put your phone aside. Sit comfortably. Take a slow breath. [PAUSE - 10 SECONDS] And another. [PAUSE - 10 SECONDS] Allow yourself to become still. You do not have to control these next thirty minutes. You simply need to receive them.

Take My Yoke Upon You

Our Scripture this morning comes from Matthew 11. Jesus says: “Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest.” Then He says something surprising: “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart.” Jesus connects humility with rest. Think about that. We often imagine humility as something difficult or unpleasant. Yet Jesus tells us that His humility leads toward rest. Why? Because pride is exhausting. Trying to control everything is exhausting. Needing everyone to agree with us is exhausting. Constantly protecting our image is exhausting. Comparing ourselves with other people is exhausting. Having to win every argument is exhausting. Needing recognition is exhausting. Replaying every insult is exhausting. Worrying about what everyone thinks about us is exhausting. Humility allows us to put some of that weight down. Jesus does not say, “Learn from me because I am powerful.” He could have. He does not say, “Learn from me because I know everything.” He could have said that too. Instead, He says: “Learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart.” Today, we are going to sit at the feet of that Teacher.

Five Minutes of Silence

We will now enter our morning silence. Today, I want you to notice something during these five minutes: your desire to control the experience. You may want the silence to feel peaceful. You may want God to give you an answer. You may want your mind to stop wandering. You may want these five minutes to feel spiritually meaningful. Let go of those expectations. You do not control what happens in this silence. Your only task is to remain. If your mind wanders, return. If you feel peaceful, receive it. If you feel restless, receive that too. If nothing happens, let nothing happen. Quietly begin with the words of Jesus: “Learn from me, for I am humble of heart.” Then become silent. [SILENCE - 5 MINUTES]

The Freedom of Not Controlling Everything

Slowly return your attention to where you are. How difficult was it to let the silence simply be what it was? This small exercise points toward something much larger. We spend enormous amounts of energy trying to control life. We plan our day, and something interrupts it. We imagine how someone should behave, and they behave differently. We expect something to work, and it fails. We hope for a particular outcome, and something else happens. Planning is not wrong. Responsibility is not wrong. We should make wise decisions and work diligently. Humility is not passivity. But humility recognizes the boundary between what we can control and what we cannot. You can control how you respond to someone. You cannot completely control how they respond to you. You can work hard. You cannot guarantee success. You can love another person. You cannot force them to love you back. You can make plans. You cannot guarantee tomorrow. Humility says: I will faithfully do what is mine to do, and I will entrust the rest to God. There is tremendous freedom in that.

Saint Benedict and Our Own Will

In Chapter 7 of the Rule, Saint Benedict describes what he calls the ladder of humility. Each step draws the monk away from self-centeredness and toward greater freedom in God. One of his teachings concerns our attachment to our own will. This does not mean that having desires is wrong. It does not mean that you should never make decisions or have opinions. The problem comes when our attitude becomes: “I must have my way.” Think about how often conflict begins there. Two people both insist on their own way. Neither wants to yield. Neither wants to listen. Neither wants to admit the possibility that the other person might be right. Pride quietly whispers: “My way. My preference. My schedule. My opinion. My comfort.” Humility asks another question: “What is good? What is loving? What is true? What does God want from me here?” Sometimes God's will and our will are aligned. Sometimes they are not. Jesus Himself gives us the greatest example in the Garden of Gethsemane. Facing the Cross, He prays to the Father: “Not my will but yours be done.” That may be one of the most difficult prayers a human being can sincerely pray.

Where Does Your Will Appear?

Let's make this practical. Think about yesterday. Was there a moment when you became frustrated because something did not happen the way you wanted? Perhaps someone was late. Someone disagreed with you. Traffic slowed you down. A plan changed. Someone did something differently from the way you would have done it. Maybe you became irritated because you were interrupted. Perhaps you wanted recognition and did not receive it. Maybe someone corrected you and you immediately became defensive. These small moments reveal something important. They show us where we are attached to our own will. Ask yourself quietly: “Where do I most insist on having things my way?” [SILENCE - 1 MINUTE] Do not criticize yourself. Simply notice. Awareness is the beginning of change.

Journaling: What Will I Surrender Today?

Take out your journal or notebook. At the top of the page write: DAY 3 - HUMILITY. Underneath it write this question: What is one way I will surrender my own will today? Perhaps you will let someone else choose where you eat. Maybe you will listen to another person's idea before offering your own. Perhaps you will accept an interruption without immediately becoming irritated. Maybe you will stop trying to control a situation that is beyond your control. Perhaps you will accept correction without defending yourself. Maybe you will perform a task that needs to be done even though you would rather do something else. Or perhaps there is a larger situation in your life that you need to place into God's hands. Choose one thing. Do not attempt to become perfectly humble today. Simply practice one act of surrender. Write it down now. [JOURNALING SILENCE - 3 MINUTES]

The Hidden Opportunities for Humility

As you move through today, watch for small opportunities to practice humility. They will probably not look spiritual. Someone may interrupt you. Someone may disagree with you. You may have to wait. Something may not go according to plan. Someone may receive credit that you wanted. You may make a mistake. You may discover that you were wrong. When one of those moments comes, pay attention. Your first reaction may be frustration. That is normal. But before you respond, pause. Remember Jesus: “Learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart.” Then ask yourself: “Do I really need to win this?” Sometimes the answer will be yes because truth or justice requires you to speak. Humility does not mean becoming a doormat. But many times you may discover that the thing you are defending is simply your ego. And when you recognize that, you have an opportunity to let it go.

Closing Prayer

Let us finish our morning in prayer. Heavenly Father, You know how tightly I sometimes hold onto my own plans, opinions, expectations, and desires. You know how easily I become frustrated when life does not go my way. Teach me the humility of Jesus. Help me recognize what I can control and peacefully surrender what I cannot. Give me the wisdom to know when I should speak and when I should remain silent, when I should lead and when I should follow, when I should hold firm and when I should yield. Free me from the need to always be right, always be noticed, always be praised, and always have my way. When pride appears today, help me notice it without becoming discouraged. When I make a mistake, help me admit it. When another person has a better idea, help me receive it. When my plans are interrupted, help me respond with patience. And when Your will is different from mine, give me the courage to pray with Jesus: “Not my will, but Yours be done.” Amen.


Before we finish, remain silent for one final minute. During this silence, hold your hands open if you are comfortable doing so. Let your open hands become a simple symbol of surrender. You do not need to hold everything so tightly. [SILENCE - 1 MINUTE] When you are ready, begin your day. Watch for the little moments when your own will rises up. Those moments are not interruptions to today's lesson. They are today's lesson. We will meet again at midday and explore how humility appears not in extraordinary acts, but in the ordinary moments of everyday life.