Session 14: Lunch - Find Christ in the Struggle

Welcome back, my friend. This morning, we began Day 5 by looking at the Cross. We reflected on Jesus' image of the vine and the branches and how pruning, though painful, can sometimes produce new growth. You were also invited to identify one cross already present in your life and ask a simple question: “How can I carry this with Christ?” Now we have reached the middle of the day. Perhaps nothing especially difficult happened this morning. Or perhaps something did. Maybe someone frustrated you. A plan changed. You received disappointing news. Something took longer than expected. You felt tired, lonely, worried, overlooked, or misunderstood. These may seem small compared with the great sufferings people experience in life, but monastic spirituality teaches us that our spiritual life is usually formed in ordinary moments. We do not need to search for dramatic crosses. Daily life provides plenty of opportunities to practice patience, surrender, forgiveness, and trust. So for the next thirty minutes, step away from whatever you have been doing. Put your phone aside. If possible, have your lunch in front of you. Take a slow breath. [PAUSE - 10 SECONDS] And another. [PAUSE - 10 SECONDS] Whatever happened this morning, bring it with you. You do not have to hide it from God.

Uniting Our Suffering to Christ

Before we eat, let us pray. Lord Jesus, You know what it means to suffer. You knew exhaustion, rejection, misunderstanding, betrayal, loneliness, physical pain, and grief. Because You entered human suffering, I do not have to face mine alone. I bring You the difficulties of this day, both large and small. I bring You the things that frustrated me this morning. I bring You the things I cannot change. I bring You the burdens I have carried for years and the small inconveniences I may forget by tomorrow. Teach me not to waste these moments through bitterness or constant complaint. Show me how to unite them with Your Cross. Give me patience where I am impatient, trust where I am afraid, and love where I am tempted to become selfish. Bless this food and everyone whose work made it possible. Strengthen me for the rest of this day. Amen.

Ten Minutes of Silent Eating

We will now eat in silence for ten minutes. Today, allow the silence to become a place of surrender. Eat slowly. Notice the food. Notice your breathing. Notice what is happening inside you. Perhaps something from this morning keeps returning to your mind. A conversation. A frustration. A fear. Do not fight the thought, but do not feed it either. Simply notice it and say quietly: “Jesus, I give this to You.” Then return to your meal. If nothing difficult happened this morning, simply eat with gratitude. There is no need to manufacture suffering. If you are carrying something painful, however, imagine placing it beside the Cross of Christ. You are not asking Jesus to pretend it does not hurt. You are simply refusing to carry it without Him. We will now eat together in silence. [SILENCE - 10 MINUTES]

The Hidden Crosses of Ordinary Life

Welcome back. When we hear the word cross, we naturally think about the great sufferings of life. Serious illness. The death of someone we love. Betrayal. Financial hardship. Broken relationships. Those crosses are real, and they can change us forever. But there are also hundreds of smaller crosses woven into ordinary life. Waiting when you want to move quickly. Being interrupted when you want to concentrate. Listening when you would rather speak. Being kind when someone is difficult. Doing something you do not feel like doing. Accepting criticism. Admitting you are wrong. Forgiving someone. Getting out of bed when you are tired. Continuing to pray when prayer feels dry. Remaining faithful to a commitment after the excitement has disappeared. None of these may seem dramatic, but together they shape the heart. The monastery gives the monk endless opportunities for these small acts of surrender. So does your home, your family, your workplace, and your ordinary day.

Sharing in Christ's Sufferings

Saint Benedict speaks about patiently sharing in the sufferings of Christ so that we may also share in His Kingdom. This does not mean pain automatically makes us holy. Suffering can make a person more compassionate, but it can also make a person bitter. Difficulty can deepen faith, but it can also cause resentment. The difference often lies in how we respond. We cannot always choose what happens to us, but we can gradually learn to choose what we do with it. When suffering comes, we can ask: “Will I allow this to close my heart or open it?” Perhaps your own suffering can make you more aware of someone else's pain. Perhaps loneliness can make you notice another lonely person. Perhaps failure can make you less judgmental of someone who fails. Perhaps receiving forgiveness can teach you to forgive. Perhaps needing help can make you more compassionate toward people who need help. The Cross can soften the heart when we allow Christ to meet us there.

The Temptation to Complain

One way we often respond to small suffering is by complaining. We complain about traffic, weather, people, work, waiting, prices, noise, inconvenience, technology, family, coworkers, politics, and countless other things. Sometimes complaints are legitimate. Problems need to be identified. Injustice should be confronted. But there is a difference between addressing a problem and developing a habit of complaint. Constant complaining trains the mind to look for what is wrong. Gratitude trains the mind to notice what is good. The monk is not expected to pretend difficulties do not exist. He is learning not to allow every inconvenience to control his interior peace. So this afternoon, try an experiment. When something small goes wrong, notice your first reaction. Before complaining, pause. Take one breath. Then ask: “Is this something I need to change, or something I simply need to carry patiently?”

What Did You Carry This Morning?

Now look back over your morning. What was difficult? Maybe something significant happened. Maybe nothing did. Look for one moment of resistance. A moment when you thought: “I don't want this.” Perhaps someone annoyed you. Maybe something did not happen according to plan. Perhaps you were tired. Maybe you had to do something inconvenient. Perhaps an old worry returned. Ask yourself: “What small suffering did I encounter this morning?” [SILENCE - 1 MINUTE] Now ask: “How did I respond?” Did you complain? Become angry? Blame someone? Avoid it? Accept it? Pray through it? Ask for help? [SILENCE - 30 SECONDS] Do not judge yourself harshly. Simply learn from what happened.

Offer One Small Difficulty

For the rest of this afternoon, when a small difficulty appears, try something monks and Christians have practiced for centuries: offer it. Perhaps you have to wait longer than expected. Instead of immediately becoming irritated, say: “Jesus, I offer You these few minutes.” Perhaps someone is difficult. Say: “Jesus, help me respond with patience.” Perhaps you are tired but still have a responsibility to complete. Say: “I offer this effort to You.” Perhaps you are worried about someone. Say: “Lord, I place this person in Your hands.” This is not magic. The difficulty may remain. The person may remain difficult. The traffic may not move faster. The problem may not disappear. What changes is the way you carry it. The moment becomes prayer instead of merely frustration.

Become Simon for Someone Else

This morning, we remembered Simon of Cyrene helping Jesus carry His Cross. This afternoon, watch for someone whose burden you can help carry. It may be something very small. Listen to someone who needs to talk. Help with a task. Encourage someone. Call a person who is struggling. Be patient with someone having a difficult day. Perhaps the greatest thing you can do is simply notice. People carry crosses we know nothing about. The rude person may be afraid. The impatient person may be exhausted. The quiet person may be grieving. The difficult person may be carrying pain they have never learned how to express. This does not excuse harmful behavior, but it can change the way we see people. Ask yourself: “Whose cross can I make a little lighter today?” [SILENCE - 30 SECONDS]

Closing Prayer

Let us close our midday session in prayer. Lord Jesus, thank You for meeting me in the ordinary difficulties of this day. You carried the Cross before asking me to carry mine. Teach me not to run from every inconvenience or become bitter when life does not go according to my plans. Give me patience in the small trials that shape my heart. Help me recognize when something should be changed and give me courage to change it. Help me recognize when something cannot be changed and give me grace to carry it. Guard me from constant complaint. When I am tempted to complain, remind me to pause and pray. When suffering makes me turn inward, open my eyes to the burdens other people are carrying. Make me willing to become Simon of Cyrene for someone today. And when my own cross feels heavy, give me the humility to let someone help me carry it. I unite the struggles of this day with Your Cross. Do not let them be wasted. Use them to make me more patient, compassionate, humble, and loving. Amen.


Remain silent for one final minute. Bring to mind the difficulty you identified today. Place it once more into the hands of Christ and quietly say: “Jesus, I will carry this with You.” [SILENCE - 1 MINUTE] When you return to your afternoon, do not go looking for crosses. Simply pay attention to the ones that come. When a small difficulty appears, pause before reacting. Offer it. Carry it with Christ. And look around for someone whose burden you can make a little lighter. We will meet again this evening to place the entire day at the foot of the Cross and ask ourselves one simple question: Where did I carry the Cross today, and where did I try to avoid it?