Intimacy Issues

Intimacy issues are one of the most common reasons couples seek therapy, as emotional and physical closeness is a key part of maintaining a healthy relationship. According to Dr. Sue Johnson, the creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), intimacy is not just about physical connection but emotional safety. She says, “Emotional disconnection is the root cause of most intimacy problems, as couples often feel distant or misunderstood.”

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When intimacy starts to decline, it’s often linked to underlying emotional or relational issues such as unresolved conflicts, trust problems, or stress from external factors. Therapy can help couples address these root causes and rebuild closeness. One common approach is for couples to explore their emotional patterns and needs. Johnson advises couples to ask themselves, “What makes you feel emotionally safe and connected to your partner?”

Physical intimacy can be affected by these emotional disconnections. Dr. Esther Perel, a renowned therapist known for her work on desire in long-term relationships, notes that sexual intimacy often diminishes when couples stop cultivating mystery and excitement in their relationship. She encourages couples to maintain a sense of individuality and novelty, explaining, “Desire needs space. When you are too close, desire may diminish.”

Therapists also work with couples to improve their communication about physical intimacy. Partners may have different needs, desires, or comfort levels, which can lead to misunderstandings or unmet expectations. A key strategy is creating a safe space to discuss intimacy openly without fear of judgment. As therapist Dr. Laura Berman states, “Couples need to talk about their sexual needs and desires as openly as they would discuss finances or future plans.”

Rebuilding intimacy takes time, but with honest communication and effort, couples can restore both emotional and physical closeness. Therapy provides the tools to reconnect and understand each other’s needs more deeply.