“I Agree With Some of the Church’s Teachings…”

You’ve probably heard it before - from a friend, a classmate, a coworker, or even a family member: “I mean, I agree with some of what the Catholic Church teaches… but not all of it.” It usually comes up when the conversation turns to hot-button topics - like sexuality, marriage, abortion, the role of the Pope, or the Eucharist. And if you’re trying to live your Catholic faith authentically, you might not know what to say. Should you stay quiet to avoid conflict? Should you go on the offensive and quote the Catechism? What do you do when someone seems to like Jesus… but not the full Gospel? Here’s how to handle it - with clarity, compassion, and conviction.

1. Start With Love, Not Lectures

It’s easy to get defensive when someone criticizes the Church. But before you say anything, take a breath and remember: your goal isn’t to “win” an argument - it’s to win a heart. So begin with respect. Ask questions. Listen to understand, not just to respond. You might say: “I’m curious-what teachings do you agree with? And which ones do you struggle with?” Often, people’s rejection of Catholic teachings is rooted in misunderstanding, pain, or past wounds. By listening first, you open a door to real conversation - not just debate.

2. Clarify What It Means to Be Catholic

Being Catholic isn’t like being at a buffet where you take what you like and skip what you don’t. It’s not just a set of opinions - it’s a relationship with truth.

The Church’s teachings aren’t man-made rules - they are rooted in divine revelation. Jesus gave the Church authority to teach in His name (Luke 10:16, Matthew 16:18–19). To say, “I only agree with some of the Church’s teachings,” is essentially saying: “I trust God, but only when I agree with Him.” That’s not trust. That’s self-made religion. And it can’t bring the fullness of peace or freedom. You might gently explain: “The Church doesn’t teach these things to control people, but to help them live the truth that leads to joy and eternal life.”

3. Acknowledge That Wrestling Is Part of the Journey

It’s okay to struggle with a teaching. Many saints did! But there’s a big difference between struggling to understand a teaching and outright rejecting it. If your friend is genuinely wrestling with a teaching, encourage them. Say something like: “I’ve wrestled with that too. But I’ve found that when I dug deeper into the ‘why’ behind the Church’s teaching, it actually made a lot more sense - and led me to freedom.” Encourage them to read, pray, and keep seeking. God is not afraid of our questions - but He wants us to ask them with humility, not pride.

4. Recommend Solid Resources

Sometimes, a person’s rejection of Catholic teaching comes from bad information - or no information at all. Point them to resources that explain the Church’s teachings in a clear and loving way, such as SmartGuy.com You could say: “Would you be open to looking into this more? I’d love to share something that helped me.”

5. Pray for Them - and Be Patient

Conversion is a work of grace. No one comes to full acceptance of the faith unless the Holy Spirit leads them. Your job is not to change their heart - it’s to plant seeds, speak the truth, and love them well. Keep the friendship. Keep the conversation open. And most importantly, keep praying for them. You never know when a question, a moment of crisis, or a quiet tug from God will lead them deeper into the truth they’re resisting now.

Catholicism Is All or Nothing - Because Christ Is

To be Catholic is to say yes to the fullness of what Christ taught - even when it’s hard. Not because we blindly obey, but because we trust that God’s ways are wiser than ours. So the next time a friend says, “I agree with some of the Church’s teachings,” You can gently invite them to consider: What if the parts I struggle with… are the parts that could actually set me free?

Truth is not always comfortable. But it is always good. And the fullness of truth lives in the heart of the Catholic Church.