Feeling Taken for Granted

Feeling taken for granted is a common complaint in long-term relationships. One partner may feel that their efforts to support the relationship—whether through acts of service, emotional labor, or caretaking - are not being appreciated or reciprocated.

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Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, notes that “when one partner feels unappreciated, it can lead to resentment and emotional distance, making it harder to maintain a healthy, loving connection.”

In therapy, couples work on understanding why one partner feels taken for granted. Often, this feeling arises when partners stop expressing gratitude or acknowledging each other’s contributions to the relationship.

Dr. John Gottman’s research shows that “small acts of appreciation can go a long way in maintaining relationship satisfaction.” In therapy, couples learn how to express appreciation regularly, whether through words, gestures, or physical affection.

Another issue is the imbalance of emotional or physical labor within the relationship. One partner may feel that they are doing more of the work, whether it’s managing household tasks, planning family events, or providing emotional support, while the other partner doesn’t contribute as much. Therapy helps couples address this imbalance by encouraging open conversations about responsibilities and fairness.

Therapists also guide couples in rediscovering the joy of giving and receiving. Dr. Chapman’s concept of the love languages helps partners understand how they prefer to receive appreciation and love, whether it’s through words of affirmation, quality time, or acts of service.

By learning to express love in ways that resonate with their partner, couples can reduce feelings of being taken for granted and strengthen their emotional connection.

Ultimately, overcoming feelings of being taken for granted requires both partners to be intentional about expressing gratitude, acknowledging each other’s efforts, and maintaining a balanced partnership. Therapy provides the tools and support to help couples rekindle appreciation and restore emotional intimacy.

(All content we share in print, video, or other media reflects our personal opinions and is provided for general informational purposes only; it should not be considered legal, financial, medical, or professional advice, and should not be relied upon without seeking guidance from a qualified professional)