Dealing with Chronic Illness

When one partner in a relationship is diagnosed with a chronic illness, it can profoundly affect both partners and their relationship. The healthy partner may feel overwhelmed by caregiving responsibilities, while the ill partner may struggle with feelings of guilt, fear, or frustration. Dr. John Gottman explains that “chronic illness requires couples to adjust their expectations and roles, which can strain the relationship if not handled with compassion and communication.”

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In therapy, couples work through the emotional impact of chronic illness. The healthy partner may feel resentful or burnt out from caregiving, while the ill partner may feel like a burden. Therapists encourage both partners to openly express their emotions, fears, and frustrations.

Dr. Sue Johnson emphasizes the importance of emotional support: “When couples face illness, they need to lean on each other emotionally. Both partners must feel heard and supported, even as they navigate difficult changes.”

Therapists also help couples develop coping strategies for the practical aspects of living with chronic illness. This may include discussing how to manage medical appointments, finances, and household responsibilities.

Often, partners must renegotiate roles within the relationship, which can be difficult if one partner feels they’re taking on too much or losing their independence. Therapy provides a space to discuss these changes and find balance, ensuring that both partners feel valued and respected.

Another key aspect of therapy is maintaining intimacy in the relationship. Chronic illness can affect physical intimacy, leading to feelings of disconnection. Therapists guide couples in finding new ways to maintain emotional and physical closeness, whether through non-sexual touch, emotional vulnerability, or spending quality time together.

Dealing with chronic illness is challenging, but with support from therapy, couples can navigate the emotional, physical, and practical difficulties while maintaining a strong, loving connection.

(All content we share in print, video, or other media reflects our personal opinions and is provided for general informational purposes only; it should not be considered legal, financial, medical, or professional advice, and should not be relied upon without seeking guidance from a qualified professional)